Have you ever found yourself so exhausted that you didn’t even know what to pray? This was a constant theme in my life a couple years back. I was running in circles from task to task, never really taking time to sit and reflect on all God was doing. I found myself on the edge of ‘burnout,’ uncertain of the season ahead. Yet, as I sat back and reflected on all the ‘stuff’ I was accomplishing, it all seemed to be empty. There was no Spiritual revitalization, there was no heart of gratitude, there was a lack of love and adoration for the ONE I was spending my life serving! It was from this place I began to pen the lyrics of “Refuge.”
Calmer of the seas, shaper of the stars
Whispering my name, quieting my heart
You are God of all the earth, and I will fall into the refuge of Your love…
….Even when I have no song to sing, I lift my hands and bless Your Name.
This song was birthed from a place of exhaustion, knowing I had neglected intimate times of worship and replaced them with a performance-spirit. I was broken and confused, and yet fully ready to surrender to the God-given desire to rest and be still. Though the finished product of the song sounds rather ‘upbeat,’ and ‘catchy,’ I can assure you… when that melody was first birthed it was in a quiet room on a simple piano with no bells or whistles. It was through tears and exhaustion that I first sang the chorus with a repentant heart and tired mind. It is in the most painful times of transition, the most sleepless nights, the most trying days that the sweet Spirit of God comes rushing in like a flood to be our greatest advocate, comforter, and friend. Through the writing of of “refuge,” I was being taught the art of letting go of my own ‘agenda,’ and rejecting the desire to people-please in order to replace my ways with HIS ways. I was truly in a place where I had to reject everything I “felt” and consciously CHOOSE to enter in to praise and worship. If the song doesn’t minister to a single other person… it was a song of my heart that needed to be loosed so I could begin to experience the freedom that comes with obedient praise.
Even as you are reading this blog, perhaps you identify with the place I was in: tired, frustrated, and longing for rest.If that is the case, I encourage you to put the phone down, shut off the noise and be still. Pour out your heart through prayer or worship. Take a moment to quiet the chaos of your mind and still your heart before the God of your Salvation: Let His voice soothe your soul and His peace lift your spirit. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. Give your business to Jesus and exchange your exhaustion for a heart of peace and praise. He is your refuge… the calmer of the stormy seas.